Some Sentiments Are Best Left For Greeting Cards

 

One of the annoying things about cancer is its perfect ability to make people around you feel uncomfortable. It's the kind of unease that makes a casual acquaintance dart down the next aisle in a supermarket in order to avoid having to ask the question, "How are you?" Admittedly, BC ("before cancer") I would have been one of those evaders. God forbid, that person actually answered my question truthfully....TMI, thank you very much. Just here to buy some vegetables not to pretend to know how to respond to a person who is not faring well with chemo. Awkward.

For the not-so-fortunate people who are unable to escape those by chance confrontations (your aunt at Easter dinner or a book club buddy), it makes them blurt out absurd, greeting card sentiments like "Hey, bald is beautiful" when the discussion of hair loss comes up. I can't blame them for uttering such nonsense. That's the effect that cancer has on people. I mean what the heck are you suppose to say, "Gosh, now that you are losing your hair, I hope you don't discover some hideous birthmark or that your head is really knobby!"

Of course, there are those who are excluded from the club:

And there are plenty of men who rock the bald look:

...I couldn't resist!

But, for this bald chick...please do not tell me that bald is beautiful because it most certainly is not. Before you start thinking that chemotherapy has not only destroyed the cancerous cells in my body but has also left a hole through my heart...let me explain.

My disdain towards baldness goes beyond vanity reasons. Sure, my cue ball situation is not exactly a confidence booster but it's only temporary. Losing my hair was a reminder that I was sick. Not sick like I just told a joke in poor taste sick...I mean sick like life threatening disease sick. With each shedding hair, I was losing another strand of my "normal" life BC. Holding onto those blonde tresses was the only way to hold onto the comfortable life that I once knew and loved just months before.

Each clump of hair left behind in my hairbrush, on my pillow and in the drain after a shower was a reminder that I was one step closer to the woman that I dreaded becoming...the sick person who acquaintances would dodge in the store, loved ones would lay their sorrowful eyes upon and friends, regardless of how I answered, would do the preemptive nod of sympathy after asking, "How are you?" 

With the last hair that fell from my head also came the realization that this wasn't a bad dream soon to be awakened from. This cancer thing was serious business and was not going away without a fight...so bring on the chemicals and the side effects, and, yes, the greeting card sentiments that come along with being part of the bald club.

Four and 1/2 months later, one more chemical cocktail to go, and as I am typing this post I am sporting a nice, peach-fuzzed noggin. That's right, folks - my hair is coming back! I'm not ready to ditch the wig just yet...but, approaching what I like to call "the Beckham". Just add a pair of Stella & Dot Capri Chandelier earrings and it's all the rage for Summer 2012.

Yep, the uninvited guests that set up camp and have been partying like it's Woodstock in my body for years now have been handed their eviction notice and are heading out. And with their exit, a healthier woman is beginning to emerge. So, I will continue to take delight over the beautiful, salt & mostly pepper hairs that have sprouted from my head because they are a reminder that I am on the mend.

As for all of you well-intentioned, caring people trying to lift a sick person's spirits, I would recommend leaving the warm & fuzzy sentiments to Hallmark (or your elementary school daughters) -- sure to bring a smile to any bald, fighting like a girl's face - at least it did to mine...

Well, Cancer, so far you took my hair, thinned out my brows and lashes, sent me on an emotional roller coaster ride, even took some cheap shots below the belt...but here I am still standing and stronger than ever...you don't stand a chance!

Sorry, peeps...no full head disclosures here.